Fear, Freaks, andLove
by Chillin'OnTheDarkside
Summary: This is the first half of a two part story focusing on the relationship between Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow and, a character I created, Erin/Fear . Batman and many other villians make appearances. This half explores the orgins of Erin/Fear, and the beginning of the two's life together. I'm new to FanFic, so be nice. Some sexual and violent content.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer__: I do not own, nor did I create anything in Batman; including the story, characters, games, or franchise. I just love it! Some events and dialogue are taken from the game, Arkham Asylum. AGAIN, I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING FROM THE GAME. (The story just follows some of the game's story line). Any similarity to any real people is strictly __coincidental__. Erin/Fear, Beth, and Mr. Hartline are original characters, but all the other characters ARE NOT MINE (Duh) _

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1: A Freakish Discovery**

I am a freak. I have been one, and will be one, my entire existence, and it used to upset me. I was born and raised in a small, boring town, like the ones you here about in horror stories. This is fitting because to me, a small, fragile child then, it _was_ a horror every day. Everyday I'd wake up from another restless sleep, everyday I'd throw on my worn out clothes, pretending to care whether they matched, everyday I'd comb my unruly brown hair flat, only to have the cowlick on my widows peak sprout up again, everyday I'd get on a bus, full of people I hated, with nothing in my stomach and a red remnant of a hand on my face, everyday I'd go to a school I hated, full of cruel idiots, and everyday I'd come home, feeling miserable, and face my mother who would slap me goodnight. _Every Day. _Those cruel idiots were my classmates and teachers. I was an easy target for all of them, tall for my age, not skinny, but not fat, pale, and painfully….well….sheepish. I was a coward, I'll admit it, and these animals _LOVED_ it! But like I said, I knew I was a freak then and I know I'm still one, the difference? I had no idea how much of a powerful freak I was.

The day it happened was a horribly normal day, and I was 12 at the time. I was, of course, walking to my locker with my head down, trying to blend in, when I felt a painful sensation run from the back of my knees, up my legs, and vibrate through me with terrifying intensity. I involuntarily yelped and the next second my face was pinned to the floor.

Then, with startling closeness, a girl's voice hissed in my ear, "Hey Erin! How's the floor taste today?!"

She then let go of my head, which was still pinned to the floor, and flipped me on my back. I yelped again, and she laughed. I found myself staring at the all too familiar face of Beth Pike. She was essentially the complete opposite of me, blonde, strong, athletic, and mean.

"Hey bitch…how'ya like my new bat, it's aluminum, a real slugger! Just look at your knees pal, a real slugger, like I said!"

I glanced down at my knees. They were slowly turning purple, and the pain was growing with the color. I choked back tears as I imagined what the underside of them, where she'd hit me, looked like.

"What is going on out here?"

Mr. Hartline was standing at our classroom doorway with his normally red face contorted into a puzzled look, and his hands pressed into the sides of his round waist.

"Beth! Erin! Get to class now and stop fooling around!" (Did I mention he's an idiot also?)

Beth cheerfully replied and then skipped clumsily past him into the room. I struggled to my feet, my legs screaming as I did so, and reluctantly followed. Once class had started, Beth left me alone, but as soon as the bell rang, she was on me again. I tried to weave through the crowded hallway and lose her, but my bruised knees prevented it. Amazingly though, I got to the lunch room before her. I had just sat down and opened my book when I felt something mushy smack against the back of my head. Everyone laughed as Beth's mashed potatoes clung to my hair for a moment and then fell pitifully onto my backpack beneath me. _I hate her. I hate them. I hate….everyone._ I carried on reading and pretended I didn't notice the greasy mess that was knotting in the back of my hair, all the while swallowing the same tears from the baseball bat incident earlier. I managed to get through lunch, and to my disbelief, the rest of the day without encountering trouble. I thought I had gotten lucky and Beth had gotten bored….I should have known that she was preparing for something _extra_ special.

I was walking through the quiet ally I used frequently to get home fast. I was pondering the absence of Beth's taunting in my afternoon, when I tripped, and for the second time that day, found my face hitting the hard ground.

I laughed darkly to myself, _well Erin, at least that time it was a crack and not—_ "Hey pal! What's so funny?!"

_Oh God. Please no._

I was almost home. But He wasn't done ruining my life yet. He still had one more encounter with Beth planned for me that day.

"Hey! Hey bitch, I'm talkin' to you!"

I stopped. My insides turned to goo and my head was spinning; trying to figure out what to do, but I was too late. Beth grabbed the hood of my stretched out hoodie and yanked me off the ground. I made broken pleas as I felt the air clench in my throat. I kicked my scrawny, bruised legs uselessly in the air.

"I bet you thought I was done. Didn't you? Well, guess what bitch, I'm not. Not even close." I was suddenly frightened.

I have always felt sad when I was beaten by my mom, angry when I was beaten by Beth, and humiliated when everyone stood around and laughed at my sadness and anger. But never had I felt fear. It was cold, black fear that seeped from my mind and throbbing heart and flooded my body, amplifying the pain in my shattered knees.

"No, no", she continued, "I have _so _much more planned." As she said this she had pulled a sharp, glistening switchblade from her pocket.

The fear smothered any air I had left, and I thought I was dead. Unfortunately, the next thing I knew I felt my still-very-alive body slammed against the dirty, brick wall of the once safe and quiet ally. Beth said something else, but I wasn't listening anymore. My mind was filled with black, swirling fear. My life sucked, and I didn't, and still don't, know why. What had I done to deserve an abusive mother, a violent bully, and an undeniable hatred of myself? Then, as if it was on my side, the fear in me turned to anger, pure, seething anger. _WHY!? What did I do!? I don't deserve to take this shit! _ As this thought burned through me, I felt Beth's switchblade break my skin. This snapped me back to reality. I thought then, I would die that day, but as soon as I gave into the fear and the anger, I discovered my true ability as a freak of nature.

My body heated up from the inside, I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the black fear and rage within me, it felt good, it made me feel powerful. I latched on to that feeling and you know what? I laughed aloud. This confused Beth and she stopped cutting me.

"What? You think this is funny?! I'll show you"— but then, at that moment as the darkness inside me exploded, she screamed.

She screamed and screamed and screamed. I slowly opened my eyes, and remember feeling great but confused. Beth was just….screaming. She had fallen on the ground in the fetal position, screaming bloody murder. To my surprise, I smiled at this, then laughed and laughed, and she screamed and screamed. I had found my power. I am a freak. I am Fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Bat?**

It had been 10 years since the day I destroyed Beth Pike, and discovered my true self. I ran from home and started a new life in Gotham City. I had apartments all over town, plenty of food, and nice clothes. I had no money, though, not a penny. I didn't need it. Threats were my money. The landlord would give me the apartments or I would kill him, and he'd seen how I killed, and that was enough; the same for the manager at the grocery store and the owners of the Gotham City Mall. Besides money, I also had no friends. I was alone. Except, I suppose, for the Fear. Fear was, in reality, my best and only friend. Fear did as I told it, hurting and killing those who I hated, which was anybody who crossed me. I had 10 good years in Gotham. Finally, for the first time in my life, I felt…content. That all changed when _he_ showed up, when _he_ ruined everything, my life went to hell again, and it was _his _fault. Although, in retrospect, he's also indirectly the only reason I met the one person I love in this world…

I had heard of Gotham's variety of "criminal masterminds", but I never really cared enough to learn about them. I, of course, had heard of the homicidal clown who calls himself The Joker. I knew about all the other freaks Arkham Asylum housed to. That twisted attorney, Harvey Dent, the slutty, species-confused plant women, and the reptilian beast that supposedly lives in the sewers of Arkham Asylum. In my eyes, they are pathetic. They have no real power or skills, not really, I mean flipping coins and planting some flowers? Pathetic. I on the other hand had perfected my unique ability, and learned martial arts to match it. I could now control Fear within a second. I also had grown into myself, so to speak, I was now normally tall and leaner, due to martial arts training, and my once sickly pale skin had become porcelain. My cowlick-infested hair, was now attractively wavy, but still had the cowlick on my widow's peak. My eyes, which had been dark brown, had also changed to a honey, golden brown, that flash lavender when I used my….ability. Like I said, once I found my true freakiness, I was happy, but then a man came into my life. Not a boyfriend or something that enjoyable, no, a man, a Batman, a silent, self righteous vigilante who feels that it's his responsibility to stick his pointy nose in everyone else's business, just because the business is illegal. Long story short, Batman caught me _persuading_ my landlord in the alley behind the apartment complex one night. He had threatened to tell the police about me, and my ability, and I was giving him a taste of what could happen if he did. The Bat must have heard his screams, or my laughs, but he was there suddenly, from out of the shadows. He knocked me to the ground, an experience I had not had in 10 years, and then grabbed me by the collar. He looked me in the face, and I saw that he had deep brown eyes and a distinct, strong jaw, but that was all, his cowl hid everything else behind a black bat face. For a minute, he looked me in the face, something that I have never liked, given my childhood. In the scuffle, I had broken my train of thought, and my landlord stopped screaming. He wasn't dead, but I later discovered that they cleared a bed at Arkham for him.

Batman stared at me, and then asked in a very deep voice, "who are you?"

_Who am I?_ I thought. _Who are you? What gives you the right to—"_I said 'who are you'?"

I smiled then. A devious smile; I could almost taste the…fear, his fear, that he was about to discover. I answered him in a slow whisper.

"Me? I'm your worst nightmare. I AM FEAR!" As I said it, I felt my eyes flash lavender and in the next second, I was delighted to hear The Bat scream.

He dropped me; he still had had me by the collar, and stumbled over the landlord, who was now a mumbling vegetable. His screams were low like his voice. I savored the moment only for a second, when I heard shouting from the street and was blinded by flashing red and blue lights. I ran quickly away from the screaming bat, down the alley, climbed nimbly up the broken wall of the apartment complex, and sprinted across rooftop after rooftop until I reached the Gotham City Bridge. I stopped to catch my breath and congratulate myself. I sat there, next to the bridge, for hours, just thinking. Around two in the morning the next day I woke to find myself still sitting by the bridge. A mouse crawled out from under a rock, and blinked at me with its beady, black eyes. They were like a bat's eyes. I scowled and my eyes flashed. The mouse squealed in agony and then died. I smiled and laughed. _Poor thing, poor weak, scared thing._ I then thought the same thought I had 10 years ago, the day I killed Beth Pike. That I had won, and the bat wouldn't bother me anymore. I now know I was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Welcome to the Nut House**

I was enjoying a pizza. I love pizza, and overall, I was having a pretty good day. I went shopping and managed to only have to kill one stubborn employee, after that I had gone to the pet store near my new apartment and spent an hour in the fish section picking them off one by one. After target practice, I came home and slept; a normal, good day, for me anyways. It had been nearly a week since my run in with Batman and he had kept away. The public, however, were frantic. They apparently held Batman to a high standard, and if there was indeed a villain out there that could make the big bad bat scream to the point of insanity, then Gotham was doomed. This thought was obvious to me, when I turned on the news two days after the incident I found that they were officially calling me "Fear."_I have a name now. Good, that will only make them more afraid. _They also showed multiple sketches of me. Most of them were vague, they showed a tall, slender woman with dark hair, purple eyes and a dark purple….cloak? _Jesus, these people have imaginations. Good, I can manipulate them even more. _

The news anchor, Jack Ryder I think, then continued to explain that the "horrible menace that disabled Gotham City's greatest hero apparently used no weapons." _Idiots._ "Batman himself informed Commissioner Gordon that the masked she-demon"- _Jesus Christ. Please be a little more dramatic._ -"possesses superhuman abilities."

That gave me a good laugh, and like I said, things were good for the rest of the week. But the Bat wasn't finished yet.

I had woken up early and walked down to the pet store for target practice with the fish. When I got there, the store was almost completely deserted. I wasn't used to being famous, or infamous rather, and didn't think twice about being seen by people. That was my first mistake. I was focusing on a small, now contorted goldfish, minding my own business, when I heard glass shatter. I turned quickly, only to be hit square in the face, I took a minute to recover, and then punched my attacker in the throat, and then the stomach, causing him to hunch over, and then kneed him in the face, bringing his head back up to eye level. His deep brown eyes were angry. His square jaw was set in a determined line. Batman then threw me into the isle of full fish tanks. I was wet and cut up from the broken glass, but I moved quickly, which seemed to surprise him. I flipped across the floor back to him in a second and caught him off guard. On the last flip, I shoved my feet under his chin and pushed off the floor hard, sending him tumbling backward with his cape flying ridiculously out behind him. I was so focused on him that I didn't notice my surroundings. Just as my eyes were about to flash, someone whacked me on the back of the head. I spun around and glared and the store manager fell into screaming oblivion. I smirked, and started to turn back to The Bat, when I felt something prick my arm. I finished turning, to find Batman holding a syringe with the needle in my arm. I was about to punch him, when the whole room started spinning, I fell down on to the wet, glass-covered floor, and then everything went black.

My head was killing me, and someone had blindfolded me. _They think I can only hurt them if they see my eyes flash. Dumbasses._ I was strapped to something, presumably a dolly, and was being wheeled through Arkham Asylum, which I had overheard from the person walking beside me. I heard several voices around me. One was definitely Batman. The others I guessed were Commissioner Gordon and some guards. I could have tried to take them all out, but I didn't know exactly how many guards there were, and now that I was in it, the Asylum sparked my curiosity, so I just let them have their fun. I was then wheeled into a room full of voices.

"Whoah. Hey fellas! Who's the new chick?"

I recognized that voice. I had heard it on TV when they played his threatening messages to Gotham. It was The Joker.

Then came a raspy, hissing voice "she smells good…what's for dinner anyways?—AHHH!" An electric shocking noise came from the direction the voice had come from.

"Keep moving Croc, back to the sewers, let's go!" _So, that was Killer Croc then, gross._

I then realized I was in the heart of Arkham, where all of its permanent, most psychotic guests stay. I wanted to see it. I wanted to see these people who, up until now, never interested me.

"Hey sweetie, what's your name hmmm?" The Joker's voice was closer now. "Ouch. Ok, ok, take it easy Cash. I'm just being friendly." His voice had moved away.

"_They_ call me Fear."

Everyone was quiet, everyone, even Joker. I smiled blindly at the silence around me.

"I'd like to see my new home. My power doesn't come from my eyes, ya know Bats. They change color, but they don't control it. My mind does. So, can you take off the blindfold?" Silence. _They don't believe me. Fine then, a demonstration._

I focused and a second later a random inmate was screaming in agony. Rough hands ripped the blindfold off, and light flooded my now lavender eyes.

"Stop it! Fine! There, it's off! Guards, get the tazers!" I smiled again and took in my surroundings.

"That won't be necessary." I blinked and the inmate stopped screaming and fell over, unconscious. I looked at Batman and the Joker and then everyone in the room.

"Fear? What kind of name is that?" I scowled at him, "This coming from a clown?"

The Joker smiled at this retort. "I like her, boys. She's feisty. She'll fit in nicely here."

"Glad she has your approval, Joker." I was then wheeled away, to a large room full of thick-walled, glass cells.

_Huh, The Bat made a joke. Do they have flying pigs here to?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The First Meeting**

That was my "house warming party." I woke up the next day to find most of the other inmates, in the surrounding cells, peering through their glass-walled cells into mine.

"Hey sweetie! How'd ya sleep?" The glass was around, I guessed, eight inches thick, and was clouded, and it made Joker's face even more distorted than normal.

"Amazing! This is like a hotel! Do we get little shampoos to?" I rolled my eyes as I said it and he grinned, or grinned wider, I guess.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye the inmate in the cell next to mine laugh. By mid-morning, most of the inmates lost interest in me, including Joker; however, I noticed one of them was staring at me intently. It was the inmate next to me, who had laughed at my sarcasm earlier. I pretended I didn't notice, until he pressed his face against his cell wall, apparently trying to see me better. Then I glared hard at him. He immediately looked away. Even through the distorted glass, I saw his pale cheeks flush with color. Then I felt mine get hot.

_Stop it Erin! What's the matter with you!_ I ignored him the rest of the morning, and when noon rolled around I had put him out of my mind.

"Ok everyone! Lunchtime, then group therapy for the real' crazy ones! Let's go!" The guard named Aaron Cash opened the big metal door of my cell.

He was tallish, black, and strongly built. His mouth fell in a permanent scowl. _I bet he doesn't like Joker's constant grin._

"Ready…Uh...what's your name again?"

"Fear," I looked at him flatly.

"Ok? Fear. Your lunch is on that tray."

"Not hungry."

"Fine, don't eat. I could care. In 10 minutes your group therapy session starts, and it's mandatory." He walked away mumbling about how crazies were all rude. The 10 minutes went by way too quickly.

"Alright, look alive, _Fear._ Group therapy's over there" Cash pointed to another glass-walled cell, but this one had a ring of chairs with chains set up inside.

"How many people are in the group?" I accidently thought aloud.

"I don't know. What is this, 20 questions? Get in there now."

Two guards escorted me to the room Cash had pointed to. They chained my ankles to the chair and handcuffed me. _Ugh, my head. _The drugs that they had given me to control my ability were starting to become annoying. There were 10 others in the room besides me. Four were security guards. Five were other inmates, and one was a tired-looking Doctor.

"Hello boys and girls," he chuckled at his own joke, "my name is Doctor Kellerman."

"We know who you are Doc!"

"I understand _you_ do, Joker, but we have a new group member today. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

"No," I replied flatly.

"Oh…" He looked confused. _Come on man, you're a Doctor at an insane asylum. You've never run into an inmate who didn't want to say "hello" to the class?_

"…but I will, I guess," I continued, much to his relief, _"They _call me Fear."

"Is that what _you_ want to be called?"

"Sure. That's what I am."

He looked confused again, "would you care to explain to all of us what that means?"

For the first time, I looked around at each of my fellow inmates. There was Joker, who winked when I made eye contact. There was the one everyone called The Riddler, who seemed to have an obsession with question marks. There were two other inmates who no one addressed, and who looked half dead. The last one I looked at, much to my discomfort, was my neighbor. Now that I could clearly see him, I examined him. He was thin, tall, and pale. He had a shock of dark brown, almost black, shaggy hair that hung slightly over his eyes. _Jesus, those eyes._ They were the most brilliant shade of blue that looked diamond-cutting sharp. He noticed I was staring at him, and looked at his handcuffed hands; a new patch of flame sparking on his cheeks. I snapped back to the conversation.

"Uh Fear? An explanation please? What do you mean 'that's what I am'?" _ What do you mean 'what do I mean'? I mean, I am fear. Fear is me. What's so hard to understand? _

"Umm…right, well when I was little, I got picked on a lot. Then one day when I was 12, a bully named Beth Pike jumped me in the alley by my house. She pulled a knife on me, but before she could hurt me, I killed her." Now everyone was listening, even the four security guards.

"You killed her? Just like that? Please, go on, Fear." Doctor Kellerman looked intrigued.

"Well, yeah", now my cheeks matched the man's with the blue eyes. "I mean, she pulled this knife on me, and I felt fear for the first time in my life. The fear listened to me, like I controlled it or something." The blue eyed man was gazing at me now, and everyone else waited for me to go on. "I closed my eyes, expecting to be stabbed, but heard Beth screaming instead. She was lying on the ground, just screaming."

I smiled at the memory, and that made Joker laugh, "You really are crazy sweetie, aren't ya?"

I ignored him. "For the first time in my life I felt fear, I controlled others' fear and that felt good." The blue eyed man smiled at me, his blue eyes dreamy looking. _What's with this guy_?

"What happened after she screamed?" Doctor Kellerman looked less interested now, and more frightened. _Good, you should be scared Doc. I'm just cooperating now, I could be out 'a this place in 5 minutes if I felt like it, drugs or no drugs. _

"She just….screamed, and screamed and screamed," I started to giggle, "and screamed!"

Now Joker and the blue eyed inmate were laughing with me. The Riddler rolled his eyes, and Doctor Kellerman looked disgusted.

"You find that funny, Fear?"

I stopped laughing. "Yeah. Why shouldn't I? The bitch was going to kill me right? She, my drunken mother, and the rest of that fucking town were going to drive me into the ground! So I killed the bitch before she could kill me! Why is that wrong?!" I was fidgeting now. "I was a powerless loser, and then I found my true potential, my true power: fear. I _am_ fear. I am Gotham's worst nightmare", I finished in a low hiss. The whole room was silent except for the buzzing of the old air vents.

"Well, _that_ was quite the back story, hey Doc?! Now that we know _her_ name, why don't we introduce ourselves to Fear here, hmmmm Doc?"

Doctor Kellerman started blankly at Joker, and then at me. "Yes" He said slowly. "Fine, yes. Whatever," he shook his head in disgust.

"I'm Joker, but you knew that sweetie right?" I nodded silently. "Good! These two here are Razor and Hyde, say hello fellas!" The two inmates, who looked half dead, didn't even blink. "That's Eddie, but we call him The Riddler, and this," Joker continued, "is"—"I can introduce myself." Joker shot the blue eyed man a nasty man ignored him and looked at me, his cheeks still blazing.

"My name is Jonathan Crane." He smiled shyly at me, and I, without thinking, returned his smile and then quickly shook my head and scowled.

"Yeah, but we all call him Scarecrow" Joker laughed. "Isn't that right Scarecrow?"

Jonathan nodded, his intense blue eyes still fixed on me, "yes."

Doctor Kellerman looked at his watch. "Well, that's all for today. Guards, if you could get them back to their cells?"

"Come on." Aaron Cash walked back into the room and unchained my ankles and handcuffs. "Let's go."

I allowed him to take me back to my cell. Jonathan was being escorted next to me because his cell was next to mine.

"You're beautiful." It was barely a whisper, but I heard it.

I looked up, startled, "What?"

But then Cash opened the cell door and pushed me in. As he did, I saw Jonathan smile at me, before he too was pushed into his cell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: First **_**Date**_

So, that was my first group therapy meeting, and it sucked. It had sucked because now The Riddler kept trying to prove he was smarter than me, apparently he thought my ability was a measure of my intelligence. _Hell, maybe it is. I'm pretty smart._

"Hey sweetie! That one, right over there. Do him!" Joker was being even more annoying, constantly asking me to make other inmates scream and pass out.

"If you don't give me some peace, I'll do it to you, clown!" I was kidding, but he looked slightly hurt.

Then he laughed, and I internally scolded myself for being sympathetic. This is how I spent the next few days, avoiding Riddler's and Joker's questions. Today was Monday, I think. I woke up sitting, curled up against the far corner of my cell, the one against the wall I shared with Jonathan.

"You slept all day, new girl! It's almost lights out!" I groaned as Cash laughed at me. _Damn Drugs._

My head still hurt and I was stiff from sleeping curled up._ You've changed so much Erin, but you still can't get a good night's sleep. _I was bitterly acknowledging this when something fell next to my leg. I jumped slightly, and looked down. It was a neatly-folded piece of lined notebook paper. I picked it up, and then realized, somewhat delayed, that it had fallen through a solid, eight-inch-thick wall. But wait….no I'm not hallucinating. _What is…._I looked down, at about floor level there was a thin long slit in the glass that looked to go through to the other side, Jonathan's side. I blinked at the hole. _How'd he do this?_ I wondered this as I opened the paper.

"_Hi again_."

_Oh great. Note passing. Wonderful._ But part of me was glad he was talking to me.

"_I just wanted to explain. You seemed put off when I called you beautiful. It's just you really are. Your physical beauty is overwhelming, but your mind, your ability is also so amazing." _Now _I_ was blushing.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I jerked my head around to find Jonathan staring at me. He blushed but this time he kept his head up, his blue eyes boring into my brown ones. He waved and smiled sheepishly. I smiled back, and kept reading, "_I'm not crazy. I'm like you. I've killed like these people, but I'm not like them._" I was hooked now, reading faster. "_I also love fear. Remember Joker called me 'Scarecrow.' That's my name, like your "name" is Fear, which, if I could say, is incredibly…well, sexy."_ I laughed at that. Not in a mocking way, more like disbelief.

_So now I have an admirer. Well, he's nice and he's interesting. He also seems to share an interest in fear. What the hell, I could just write back couldn't I? That's pretty harmless_.

I looked around, and realized quickly that I had nothing _to _write back with. I scowled, and then looked at Jonathan, who was still watching me. He moved to the slit in the wall and shoved a broken, tiny pencil through it that tinged when it hit the ground of my cell. _He's quick. Not like some of these thick-headed idiots. _I picked up the pencil. It was warm, like he had been clutching it this entire time.

"Lights out in 15 minutes!" I wrote quickly, and then shoved both the pencil and paper back through the slit in the glass wall.

**. . .**

"_Hi Jonathan, or Scarecrow, whichever you prefer."_

Just reading her words made me feel heat in areas where I haven't felt heat in a long time. "_You didn't catch me off guard, not really. I've just never been called beautiful before._" This fact made me feel sad, and then angry at the world we both hated.

"We don't have much time to talk now, but I'm glad to have found someone who shares my interest in fear. Joker told me you used to be a psychiatrist here." _Damn that clown. Why is he talking to her about me? Wait….maybe she asked him about me!_

"_You must be really smart then_." The blush moved from my cheeks, down my neck and up to my ears. _She thinks I'm smart._

"_I can't write anymore, Cash is coming around now. I'd love to talk to you again though." _I smiled and I felt my heart get fluttery. "_For the record….I'm glad you think I'm sexy_." _Oh God._ "_You're pretty good-looking yourself. I love your eyes_." My heart exploded.

I was grinning from red ear to red ear, a grin the Joker would be jealous of. I looked up and found her soft, brown eyes staring at me intently. She smiled when she saw I had finished reading. I waved goodnight to her, and she waved back. A real, friendly wave, not like the mocking ones I used to get from the cheerleaders at school.

We laughed at each others' blushing as the lights went out and Cash yelled mockingly, "Goodnight, and don't let the other crazies bite!" 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Face to Face**

I had been good my first week here, so apparently that means I get to go the inmate common room. _This is like a fucking daycare. I wonder if they'll give me a sticker if I'm good my second week._

"Here it is, sit down anywhere. Now, no funny business or it's back to your cell."

"Yes sir!" I saluted him, and he rolled his eyes.

I heard a laugh, a familiar laugh. I turned around as Cash left and found a pair of diamond-cutting blue eyes looking at me. My insides melted. Jonathan had his hair combed back so that it was still shaggy, but wasn't hanging in his eyes anymore.

"Hello. How was your night?"

I didn't answer right away. Instead I saw a spot next to him, and took it. He seemed startled for a moment, and then happy.

"Fine, I didn't sleep much, but it was nice talking to you." I gave him my best grin, in hopes of making him share my blush. It worked.

"I'm glad you don't think I'm creepy. I know it must have been weird to call you…beautiful. I don't even know your real name." He looked at his hands.

"I don't think you're creepy or weird, Jonathan. I like you a lot. And my name's Erin." _Where is this boldness coming from?_

I did grow out of my awkward looks, and awkward brain, but I never, until now I guess, grew out of my awkwardness around attractive men.

"Really? I like you a lot to," he said slowly, raising his head as he did, "but I don't know why you like me. I'm nothing special." His head dropped again. This made me sad, and brought back memories I didn't care to remember.

"Yes you are. You were right when you told me you were different than these people. You aren't…crazy, just hurt, like me, you understand me and the power of fear, and that's why I like you." I was talking faster now. Jonathan gazed at me and smiled. "And, you seem really clever, and your eyes are the most brilliant blue I've ever seen…" I trailed off, now looking at my hands.

His blue eyes were glowing as he said, "well, thank you. Yours turn purple though, so…I think you beat me."

He laughed nervously. I laughed with him. _He really is quite special….differently special._ I looked at him and noticed he had some dirt on his red cheek. I brushed it away with my hand; he closed his eyes and breathed in hard. _Wow. He is probably more of a virgin than I am. _

"Like I said, I've never been told…stuff like that, it's just new to me." I smiled, and so did he.

"How does it work," he said, changing the subject, "your…power, how does it work?"

This question startled me. My hand was still on his cheek, the guards were looking at me with puzzled expressions. I shifted on the chair and moved it, which seemed to disappoint Jonathan.

"Honestly, I'm still not entirely sure. I discovered it when I was 12 and I am still mastering it." He put his head on his hands and looked at me to continue. "All I know is, when I want to, I can prey on peoples' fear. I can make it hurt them, and that's why they scream. It feels like, when it happens, my body gets stronger as they become more afraid. Their fear wells up inside me, and then I turn it on them. The thing is _I _haven't felt my own fear since that day I talked about in group therapy last week."

"The day that girl, Beth was it, attacked you?"

"Yeah"

He nodded like a Doctor. _Well, he was a psychiatrist. _He must have read my mind.

"Please, don't think I'm shrinking you. You, you're just fascinating, that's all. Amazing…is a better word for it actually."

"Thank you. You're the only person on Earth who thinks that."

"Good," he smiled, "less competition." His all too familiar blush crept up his cheeks again. _This is becoming a regular thing with us. _

We talked for another minute or so, about his fear gas, which I would like to learn more about.

"Alright Fear; Crane, back to your cells. The rest of you, to group therapy, now!" Cash walked forward.

I started to get up. "Wait!" Jonathan looked frantic.

"What now?" Cash looked confused and annoyed.

I sat back down. In the next minute my life changed forever. I am no longer alone. I am no longer cold to the _entire_ world, because this man, this wonderful, beautiful man did something in that minute that changed me. Jonathan smiled at my response, and answered it by gently, but quickly, grabbing my face. He pushed his soft, warm lips against mine. I was taken aback, but then I found myself kissing him back, and placing my hand on the back of his head. This all happened within a fraction of a second. The next second, he was ripped away from me as three guards tackled him. I heard the wind leave his lungs with a whoosh.

I yelled "No!" before I knew what was really happening.

They dragged him away, and I was still sitting there, stunned by the whole experience. The other inmates were staring at me.

"Alright! Nothing to see here! Move along, all of you, to group, now!" They all stood and left with the remaining guards. "Come on, love bird! Back to your cell! Let's go, Fear?!" I wasn't listening. I was lost in my mind. "I said, Get up, now!" Cash grabbed my arm and pulled me back to my cell. I realize now, that I probably looked pretty stupid being dragged along with dreamy eyes and a loopy grin on my face, with nothing on my mind but a pair of blue eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Our First Night**

I am a mess at the moment. I now know what people meant when they told me that until you have someone to worry about, you have no idea what worry really is. It had been two hours since Jonathan had kissed me in the inmate common room. Two hours since he had been tackled, and dragged away like an animal. Two hours I had been sitting here in my cell, waiting for them to bring him back to his cell, but they hadn't. _Think about where you are, Erin! They could have done anything to him by now! Electric shock therapy? "Disciplining" by the guards? What if this place is like the pound? What if he acted out, and they took him somewhere and, like, put him down or something? _I stopped myself there. They wouldn't do that. I put my head between my knees and breathed deeply. Just then I heard footsteps, and my head shot up. Two guards, two of the three that tackled him, were escorting a very tired looking Jonathan this way. I stood up and involuntarily yelled his name. He looked up, and smiled at me.

"Hey now, no funny business," The guard gave me a hard look. "Any more out of you two love birds and we'll transfer you to Blackgate (I found out later that's a prison)."

Then they tossed Jonathan back into his cell and slammed the door. I waited until they left, and then scooted over to the slit in the wall.

"Hey, Jonathan, are you ok?" He looked happy that I was concerned about him.

"Yeah. They just put me in isolation for a few hours, beat some sense into me, ya know, nothing I'm not used to", he laughed darkly.

I was angry. _They had hurt him, for kissing me? Ridiculous._ They will pay, soon enough, they will pay. "That was some kiss", I said slowly.

He looked startled by the mention of it, and then he grinned mischievously, "Yeah? You want to do it again sometime?"

I laughed, "Not if it's going to get you beat up. I…I like you to much to see you hurt, Jonathan."

"Kissing you is worth it." More blushing, but this time it was me. "Ya know," he said, "I can get out of this cell."

"What?"

"This cell, I leave it all the time." He looked at me like he knew something I didn't.

"Ok. I'll bite. How do you leave your cell," I said, giving in to his hinting.

"I can just get out, that's all, nothing special. It's where I _go_ that's really special."Ok. Now he _really_ did have my attention.

"Show me." I gave him the sexiest smile I could manage, like I said I didn't have much practice.

He grinned mischievously again, "Ok. One minute."He moved away from the slit and a minute later he was unlatching my cell door.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You _are_ brilliant."

His turn to blush again, "thanks. Come On, quickly."

"What about the cameras and guards?"

He laughed. "Don't worry. I hacked into the cameras ages ago, they see the same thing all the time, an empty hallway. They're so dense that they don't even notice."

_Jesus, I love him._ "Cool," I said as we walked quickly and quietly down the hall way to Intensive Treatment, "but how did you get access to their computers?"

"I'll show you when we get there. Hurry, I don't want them to ruin this."

We got to the elevator shaft at the bottom of the Intensive Treatment lobby. He crawled up to an open air vent in the wall. He disappeared inside, only to poke his head out a second later.

"Come on up. The air is fine," he grinned down at me. I laughed quietly as I jumped up to follow him.

We crawled through an L-shaped vent for about 5 minutes and then emerged into a small, dark cave like area. It was filled with computer monitors, which explains his ability to hack the cameras, and photos of batman with darts poking out of a lot of them. There was also a bunch of drawings.

"You draw?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm not great but ya know, it's something to do."

"These are amazing, really they are."

"Thanks." His blush returned.

Then I spotted one that made me stop. I picked up the drawing; it was clearly me waving to him.

"This…this is lovely."

"You can have it, if you want."

"I'd rather have one of you." I laughed nervously, and he smiled. "This whole place is amazing", I said, changing the subject and gesturing to the space around us.

"Yeah, it's nice to stop pretending they control me sometimes, ya know?"

"Yeah, I hear you."

He smiled again, and took my hand. His pale hands were warm with sweat, and his long, pale fingers wrapped around my hand protectively. "Come. Sit. This couch is new."

"How did you"—"Don't' ask," he laughed.

I returned his warm smile and let him keep my hand. My insides felt warm. It wasn't the Fear. It was….love, I think. Then without thinking about it, I leaned over and kissed him softly. He leaned into it with no hesitation, and as I started to pull away, he held my head there, kissing me, touching me, breathing into me. I felt his tongue slowly make its way into my mouth. This surprised me, but my tongue played along. We kissed for three long minutes. Up until the coming minutes, those were the best three minutes of my life. He was still clutching my hand as we broke apart. We were both breathing really heavy now, and grinning from ear to ear.

"That was…nice." I was still short of breath.

"Yeah." He squeaked, and then coughed, "Um yeah, it was."

We laughed. "I like you a lot; I think…I think I might….love…you. I love you", I whispered.

He looked as if were about to faint. He kissed me again, stopped for a minute and breathed, "I love you to."

I melted. He melted. He started to kiss me again and as he did he let go of my hand, and moved both of his hands up my bright orange Arkham shirt. I gasped, but didn't break the kiss. He moved his hands up to my shoulders and I lifted up my arms, still latched onto his lips. I broke the kiss then and he gently pulled my shirt off from underneath. He brought his hands back down and rested them on my face.

"You're pretty good at this." I laughed breathlessly.

"I'm as surprised as you are." He returned my laugh.

His sweaty, long fingers weaved their way down my matching bright orange pants. We stood up together, and I let them fall down to my ankles. I stepped forward, out of them, and closer to him. I ran my finger down the buttons on his bright orange shirt, opening them all at once. He breathed in sharply. I smiled to myself, and pushed the shirt off his shoulders. His white chest was toned, scrawny in width, but he was stronger than he seemed. _Didn't see that coming, but hey I'm not complaining._ I mimicked his motions in taking off his pants, and then finally slipped my hands into his underwear. He moaned, and I breathed in sharply. I pulled them off.

We stood there, holding each other, both of us completely naked now. I pulled him down on the couch. He looked nervous.

"I've never done this before."

"Good. We can learn together."

"You're a virgin?"

"Yeah, is that so hard to believe?" I laughed again.

"NO! No, I didn't mean"— "I know I was just kidding."

He looked relieved. "I just meant, you're so pretty and smart, how could you have never had a boyfriend?"

I shook my head, "I'm a freak, Jonathan, remember?"

He smiled down at me. "Yeah, well so am I." Then, he centered himself on top of me, and we made love. I won't go into the details, but it was the best night ever for me and my Scarecrow.


End file.
